


Never

by Star_dancer54



Series: Dear god old stuff. Like, seriously old. [39]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Drunkenness, Hogwarts students being teenagers, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Written Pre-Deathly Hallows, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-30
Updated: 2005-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-14 10:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13006245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_dancer54/pseuds/Star_dancer54
Summary: “I never…” Harry started, leaning back into the overstuffed chair. Seamus Finnegan wriggled on the edge of his seat, hand hovering over a shot glass with some amber liquid in it. Ernie Macmillan sat on the floor, kicking at the table.Harry paused, then began again. “I never…”“Oi, spit it out already!” A Weasley twin kicked at Harry’s chair, nearly throwing him off balance.





	Never

**Author's Note:**

> For Slythindor100's Challenge 13: _I never... You all know the game, right? Where someone says I never... and everyone who has ever has to drink one? The game that is usually ended by the players falling out of their chair to go and erase some of their I nevers? The game that I do not play anymore, to save the last shreds of my dignity? I want you to play this game, H/D style._

“I never…” Harry started, leaning back into the overstuffed chair. Seamus Finnegan wriggled on the edge of his seat, hand hovering over a shot glass with some amber liquid in it. Ernie Macmillan sat on the floor, kicking at the table.

Harry paused, then began again. “I never…”

“Oi, spit it out already!” A Weasley twin kicked at Harry’s chair, nearly throwing him off balance.

Harry sent him a dark look, then grinned. “I never gave a relative a hand job.”

Ernie fell over with a thud and swore. “Fuck, Potter, that’s twisted!” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Actually, I heard it was fairly common amongst large families, for some reason or another.”

Everyone turned to look at Ron, not noticing the twins each picking up a glass and downing it quickly.

Ron turned red. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Harry snickered. Payback was a bitch, wasn’t it? Served the bastard right for that comment about… what was it again? Probably something foul. Too bad he couldn’t remember what it was.

“Um… how close do you have to be related for it to count? Are we talking siblings, or distant cousins?” Neville asked, changing colour as everyone’s heads swiveled to him.

Harry eyed him. “Well, it would have to be closer than, say, second cousins?”

Neville let out a relieved noise as Zacharias Smith snorted. “So you haven’t pulled off your cousin, then, Potter-pouf?”

Harry wrinkled his nose, ignoring the nickname. “Good god no. I wouldn’t touch his bits if it would have killed Voldemort.” He also ignored the flinches at the name. “He definitely wasn’t my type by any stretch of the imagination.”

Smith made a disbelieving noise. “What, too blonde?” he tossed his honeyed head mockingly. “Wasn’t he a blonde?”

“He was. Too ugly.”

Blaise Zabini laughed quietly, as did many of the others. Harry pointed at the dark-skinned boy. “Your turn, Zabini.”

Zabini’s dark eyes danced. “All right,” he purred silkily. “I never…” he smirked directly at Harry.

Harry felt a rush of fear. What did he know? He was looking far too smug…

“I never fantasized about Draco Malfoy. While I was wanking.”

Harry blanched. _Fuck_. Unwillingly, his hand lifted to the shots.

His wasn’t the only one, though, and for that he was marginally grateful.

Of course Smith noticed. “What, Potter? You get turned on by your fights?”

“Oh, like you don’t wank to thoughts of Snape, Smith. Don’t you know what a silencing charm is?” retorted Ernie, right before he passed out.

There was dead silence for a moment, then hysterical laughter. Smith quickly changed the subject.

“Speaking of Malfoy, as well as it being my turn… I never shagged or was shagged by him.”

The twins reached for glasses. Ron’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Bloody hell!” He turned to look at Harry for assistance.

Harry was picking up a glass as well. He smirked at the twins, lifted his shot to them, and downed it.

~~~

End.


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